Dreamtime and Disconnection



I wondered if I’d blog again.

In my years of blogging each post has been born of a compulsion.

To reveal my own experiences

Or matters that ought to be revealed.

Today I awake remembering a dream.

Of a ferry ride, I’d lost my ticket, and frantically searched for my family through crowds of strangers.

Eventually I recognise someone but he doesn’t know me.

What did this mean ?

What are dreams ?

The Aborigine think dreams  part of reality.

We know little of ‘consciousness’ let alone sleep.

Are dreams a psychological means of making sense of events, intuition, or reality itself ?

Whatever they are, mine engendered uncertainty, betrayal and disconnection.

The nature of the society in which I live.

Where lies are accepted as truth and only masks are worn .

Media control and manipulate with repetitive themes.

Even blogs /petitions misinform, manipulate and insidiously support .

‘Communication’ is prescribed by substance-less emoticons, kisses, smiles and social niceties.

‘Facts’ made subjective, words meaningless, opinions forbidden, fear pervades making it impossible to connect.

All are strangers.

Hence my dream, perhaps the Aborigines are right.







  1. Please keep blogging Finola. Your blogs are truly insightful, waking up people to the reality of what is happening to disabled/autistic children and young adults. Everything you research and blog about is exactly what is happening in a most insidious way masked as “care”.

    I know as I care full time for my 22 yr old son with autism and the real risks/safeguarding issues is protecting them from a system, set up to fail them and imprison them mental health units or prisons.

    Perhaps a future topic for consideration might be about how the Tories have rigged social care, health etc against people with disabilities, making it virtually impossible for parents to care for their adult children with autism at home by having no commissioned specialist Autism Services in Health/Social care to provide community care at home, so that in event of crisis they system simply sections, or criminalises them AND refusing to pay the parent/Carer Personal Assistant role, whilst simultaneously refusing to pay respite to the full time Carer…..such is my experience and that of many others. All whilst having to be subjected to this new PIPS/ESA assessments and the abusive process this entails.

    Indeed it was recently in national media about how the Tax Credits system has effectively robbed families with children with disabilities from the knowledge they were entitled to an enhanced tax credit if you had a child with disability. Again I didn’t know this, and have lost over a decade of these monies….yet will they backpay? No.

    Yet this company contracted to run Tax Credits have been sending out letters to parents like myself saying we owe thousands of pounds of money, without a shed of evidence, requiring already stressed carers to have to battle demands for £5000 as in my case, all whilst they stopped the little Tax Credit I was getting.

    The only way to fight this crippling £5k demand was to make Subject Access Request for copies of 5 years worth of telephone calls to Tax Credits when updating info each year.

    I had to meticulously go through each CD I provided with multiple lengthy calls on it, listening to every spoken word, and pull off the time and date of each one, proving they had always been given information required that was entirely correct. Only once I had gone through this process writing a substantive letter of complaint about having to do a job they should have done prior to making not just an accusation, but a terrifying demand for £5k, did they relinquish and apologise.

    Even after this was supposed to be resolved, within a year the same happened all over again receiving a further demand for £700 with same year with them stopping the tax credits. At this point my son was in crisis and unable to fight this, and I am still owed £700 to date. I will never see it, as the battle to get this back again, distracts from the care I need to provide for my son.

    I am sole full time carer receiving just Carer’s Allowance and Income support to a sum of just over £100 per week. It is shocking what is happening to us.

    Throughout last 3 years, Social Care want my son to contribute £430 per month towards 15hrs per week support, all whilst living with me, whilst i’m on just £100 a week. So we’ve never been able to access the 15hrs a week support paid Social Care paid into a managed a/c, because we could not afford to pay this money. It’s total madness. Leaving my son and myself without ANY tangible support from Social care for years now, the stress/lack of respite has made me very poorly.

    Jeremy Corbyn announced in the last week the Social Care system is “rigged” against the elderly. Errr….it’s rigged against the disabled and Carers also. The system is rigged period against the most vulnerable people in society and all the while new private companies are springing up everywhere to “help” this problem……as one of many examples the introduction of Virgin Social Care which states on it’s website “for profit”.

    Just like you’ve been saying, our children are cash cows now and it is truly terrifying how parent/carers are being sidetracked/disowned by this Government by removing PA Role/payment of, to make way for these privatised companies to “care” for our children instead of us.

    Please don’t ever stop your great research and blogs. God bless you.

    Best wishes


    1. Dear Annie,
      Thank you for your appreciation, it means a lot.

      Sorry my reply is late . And sorry you have suffered so much at the hands of our ruthless state.

      As you say, you get very little money for 24/7 care of your son and then get hounded by tax credit investigators, most likely paid/bonuses on outcomes, persecuting those who the state has a legal, let alone a moral duty to support not persecute.

      It would cost the state several thousand ie average £4,000 per week to look after your son in residential care, yet they treat you like this.

      Please email me on finolamoss@gmail if you want to and thank you once again for appreciating what I write.

      Best Wishes to you and your son.



  2. you like I have found only darkness where we expected to see a light to guide us out of despair. I now know that there is no one to trust because sadly mental illness and brain injury along with all disability has become a commodity. I have found that the only real care that comes from the heart and the soul is from family and friends.


    1. Well said, those that love us are the only people that can be relied upon to help us, yet the state casts them as our abusers and isolates us from them in the most ruthless way for profit.

      Thank you for your comment it is appreciated.
      Best Wishes Finola



  3. Like Annie and Denise, I hope you do not stop shining a light on this terrible profit making industry called ‘social care’

    I hope you keep your anger. Like Sara, Connor Sparrowhawk’s mother. and Mark, Steven Steven’s dad, you are using your anger to reveal all that is ugly and wrong in today’s health and social service world.

    People could say that anger only injures the people that are angry, but my experience is that not being angry enough can bring awful regrets in later life by not speaking up at the time. Allowing wrong doings to go unchallenged can haunt you in later years and can injure you just as much. Doing nothing is worse than being angry and fighting back.

    It is the angry people of this world that make things happen, usually for the better for other people too. People who are too afraid or people who are unable to speak up for themselves.

    Please keep going, that is if you are able to. Thanks.


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