IMG_0390It is spring, the gardener is back.

He has observed Issy through the windows, and, in the garden.

I had briefly mentioned our predicament.

But as usual, he makes no enquiry of her.

I ask how his Christmas went, he returns the curtesy.

The social necessity of a favourable reply irritates.

‘It wasn’t that good’, his ‘oh’ expression, encourages me to continue,

‘ Issy might be taken; she is worth £4,000 a week’.

His head cocks slightly, but his fixed richter grin, does not falter.

I go back in.

Furious, amazed, humiliated.

No words express, invisibility.

He boasted he was a devote Christian.

‘See how they love one another’, must be reserved for the chosen.

I email the social worker, to check if they are coming, they say yes.

Both arrive, as usual on Wednesday.

They ask what day time activities we’ve arranged for Isabel.

I had emailed the only day centre provision that was closeish.

Isabel is generally in a better mood, and Angel Eyes has managed to read and colour with her.

She rushed down the path with me to pay the window cleaner, but is still reluctant to put her coat on and go out.

All is spring.

All is uncertain.

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  1. Why would the gardener be interested in your daughter? And if you can afford a gardener why rub it in that she is worth that sort of money to the state. Did you ask after his children? I bet he can’t afford staff like you can. Perhaps if he liked you and you were a nice person he would be happy to make conversation. How terribly self absorbed you are. You certainly shouldn’t be proud of your attitude and boast it to the world. Lots of us have severely disabled children – get over it. Cringe worthy at best.


  2. I’ ve had two bizarre reactions to this post.

    I am not judging anyone. But have been judged very unfairly, by many.

    Its strange, that those, who appear to think, I am judging the gardener, take it upon themselves, to judge me.

    For what ?

    Being upset because someone, who I make tea and biscuits for fortnightly, and has visited my house for years, shows no reaction, when you tell them your beloved, very young, vulnerable daughter ,might be taken for ever, because she can earn £4,000 per week.

    Clearly, this is an emotive, tragic issue for me, for my family, but most of all for poor Issy, who so far, in her short life, has been let down, and abused badly by the state.

    But for society and morality, it is a shocking indictment, that it is happening per se, and allowed to happen all over the country, and no one, as with the gardener even comments on it.

    And the only comments on it, are attacks me, when I describe how it upsets me.


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