A Nightmare

I am in a nightmare.

Issy has been taken. She was no longer in her bedroom.

It hit me. She was gone. I cannot find her.

Worse still, what was happening to her?

What horror was she suffering?

Her pain, unheard.

And, I cannot help her.

She will never be home again.

Could I bear to see her, if they let me?

I awake.

She is in her bedroom.

Pheww….. I make a coffee, and write this.

It is my one day without the ‘education’ package.

Which, we have had now for three weeks Monday 10-1 , Tuesday 11-1, polished, affable PA of measured lady, who holds our ‘pot of money’,

10-4, 11-4, Monday, Thursday, Friday, with lady sent up from The Lodge ( Issy’s proposed 2 day a week ‘school’), replete with I- pad, keyboard and bubbles.

Lodge Lady is doing an autism MA at Hallam, but has a music degree.

I suspect Issy may be an unpaid placement, but am told she is not.

Neither, were given Issy’s care plan, I managed to force on the measured lady, and, appeared to know nothing about Issy, so all is repeated again.

Despite this, The Lodge lady, asked a string of questions, and, on my becoming exasperated, opened her arms out to give me a hug. ??

All is bizarre, prescribed, and controlled.

Impersonally, too personal.

Issy remains in her room most of the time, has banged the keyboard a few times, and made sparkles on the ipad, and likes being tickled by the Lodge Lady.

After a two week break over Christmas, both returned.

Bizarrely, neither ask about Issy.

The modus operandi of no enquiry, let alone discussion, of Issy ’s health, sleeping, eating, behaviour, as for the previous workers.

Clearly their must be a reason for this.

Yet, on Christmas Eve, the Lodge Lady, unconnected with anything, asked, ‘How do you cut Issy’s hair?’.

Their role and agenda, are unknown.

But, it is clear, they are instructed what to ask, and what not to talk about.

Conversations stop dead, or, are rudely diverted, on certain topics.

If you mention this, as tactfully as possible, faces are attentive, but blank.

And no matter how dire the situation, Issy in bed till late, distressed, up all night, and no respite, the farewells of,

‘Hope you have a nice weekend’, are never customised.

It is now Thursday, the lodge lady arrives.

I now, deliberately, do not mention, anything about Issy.

And again she does not ask.

Issy was in fact, up all night.

In my bedroom light on, for juice once, crackers and cheese twice

Education funding, as stated in Issy’s March ‘education’ report, is available until March 2015, provided parents consent.

We withdrew our misappropriated consent in April, and appear to have no option, but to consent to this latest incarnation, but suspect, the full funding, will still have been claimed, on the back of this latest provision.

Who checks the LA’s accounts?

We have no other support, or respite.

Our social worker rings, her first contact since October.

‘I thought I’d ring to see how things are going?’

‘I am having a meeting with the Measured Lady tomorrow’.

Why, I am not told.

Yet, this lady has my pot of money and employs her worker, supposedly chosen by me , and provides the package by my express consent.

And meets with my social worker.

Behind my back.

I reply, ‘as our social worker, you should know how things are going. As should the Measured Lady, if not, there is no point in you meeting’.

‘I thought, I’d ask you first’.

‘As you should know from the workers, nothing much has changed,  Issy still won’t go out’.

‘And I still haven’t heard anything about my complaint’.

She replies, ‘But X has sent you a letter’.

‘Yes, it was not about my  complaint’.

‘I can’t comment on that’.

‘As X told you she is concerned about Issy, and why she is not going out’

‘But I didn’t give permission for X to be in my house to observe Issy for intervention issues, but to visit about my complaint. ‘.

The social worker agrees.

But continues,

’Would Issy be prepared to see a psychologist, to find out, why she is not going out?’

‘How  could they achieve this, when no one else has ?’

‘I don’t know I’m not a psychologist.’

‘’The first thing, she’d need to  find out is what happened on the days, just before Issy stopped going out. And no one has or is willing to’.

‘It was the education packages push to her ‘independent’ living that  caused all this’.

‘Well what do you want for Isabel’s future?’.

‘Surely, by now you must know. I have told you, and everyone often enough. What anyone would want for their very vulnerable daughter, to be at home, cared for and loved by her own family, where she desperately wants to be’.

‘But surely you don’t want her to stay in her bedroom for the rest of her life’.


I am the abuser, keeping Issy, in her bedroom.

I left it, asking our social worker to send a letter from the psychologist, stating the purpose of her visit, her qualifications to fulfil this purpose, and what she intended to do to achieve it, and for the psychologist to be briefed accurately, as we would like to be, on what happened on the days, now 9 months ago, immediately before Issy stopped going out.

I did not receive one.

I also asked why, we hadn’t had a single hour respite from any agency, since October.

She said she hadn’t wanted to disablise Issy, a different excuse from the last, of being unable to find an agency willing to support.




  1. I really wish I lived closer, I’d get my company involved and the LA could like it or lump it. We’ve dealt with them and their c##p before. I really do wish I could help more than to just say….i get it. I understand why you feel she’s best off living with her family where she is safe and it angers me that you should have to feel like that in this day and age! She should have been safe with the agency/respite/housing she stayed at. I’ve had to help deal with the aftermath of such bad treatment before and it’s hard especially when no one is willing to speak about it!
    My thoughts are with you and Issy, some nasty thoughts are aimed at the idiots that caused all this too. xx


  2. Really grateful for your comment. It means a lot.

    If you know of any other carers, respite or education that could help, let me know. My email is finolamoss@gmail.com

    It’s beyond wrong, that LA are allowed to act illegally in this way, and push vulnerable people around so badly.

    And make so much money out of it.

    best wishes,


  3. Why on earth do you not have a support care package in place for issy to remain at home with direct payments?
    Whereby you hire the carers thus giving you the peace of mind on who is supporting Issy.
    Continuity compassion and common sense should be the requirement.
    Issy has rights to remain at home with support.
    Please be strong and do not give up.



    1. We did and do desperately want this option and asked SS who sent me lots of forms that said little, in particular how to get information about who offered these packages.

      Our social worker said she was not allowed to recommend anyone, which is not what we required just contact details. This was nonsense anyway as the previous and only care agency were forced on us by them.

      I went into the internet and found only one site where a wheelchair bound man was asking for help and know that only the minimum of 7.50 is reclaimable and the administration company charges.

      It would appear our agency was paid per hour 4 times that amount, all though the rate paid to the workers, unless social workers or trainees which 2 of ours unknown to us were, is 8.50 per hour.

      The LA DELIBERATELY make it almost impossible, to implement direct services for obvious reasons.

      Also if you read my post where is the cavalry’, you’ll see we were told the education lady, who owned her own company who was to provide and is and does provide now just 5 hours per week PA who is not CQ assessed or able to assist with care, is paid supposedly by direct services, as the meeting with LA funding three times told us, the ed lady was to be given money which was ours, and I continued to insist I employed the workers, which was ignored.

      So there are a lots of tricks, and money being made, and what can I do about it ? My official complaint in May has still not got to the dependent investigator stage.

      It would appear, the LA can be in breach of their statutory duty to provide services and trick, and the public who pay, can do nothing about it.


    1. Thank you. I really appreciate your taking the time to read my blog, and write a comment,

      I have read your blog and have learnt of some care home policies, that could lead to such abuse and worry about what has and might happen to my daughter. If you want to you can discuss this by email with me on finolamoss@gmail.com

      best wishes,


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