Issy’s 18th Birthday…..

Isabel putting her cards out.

Isabel putting her cards out.


Issy helps to clear up.

Issy helps to clear up.

So, it arrived, Issy’s eighteenth, on the 17th December.

I forced myself to buy a cake, a Madera sponge, with balloons on.

My usual checkout girl, cheerily comments,

‘Oh, it’s some one’s birthday’,

’Yes my daughters. She’s 18’,

‘That’s nice’.

‘Not really’, I say, ‘she’s autistic, and may be taken  by the state.They take them all at 18,’

It sounded like the utterance of a mad women, but I felt, I owed it to Issy.

But needn’t have bothered.

Issy, and her fate were ignored.

She showed no reaction.

8 years ago in Tesco, the check out lady, asked after Issy, remembering her regularly, on wrist reign, with dummy, and auburn curls.

I had replied then, she’d been taken away, to make £177,000 per annum, for the National Autistic Society.

And again, had been ignored.

Such, can be the cruelty of social interaction.

And its irrelevance.

The purchase of the cake, and, this blanking, hit me hard.

I found it impossible to even look at birthday cards.

By 9. 30 am, the birthday girl is dressed in a pretty blouse, bought especially for the occasion.

She had put it on back to front, and, curls cascade down her slim, young back.

I run around looking for a camera, that works.

She demands more coffee, but, I am not there.

Her happy mood is dashed.

She returns to her bedroom.

Her PTSD, returns.

She repeats the interminable abuse of a NAS carer,

‘Nobody wants to know you.’ ‘Nobody wants to know you’.

It is on a loop.

Eventually, she comes out.

I am there now.

More coffee is demanded.

And another bath.

Clothes removed, to toilet for a poo.

She closes toilet door.

She attempts to wipe her bum, with the strategically placed toilet paper.

Her routine, now for 7 months, since she heard, her education package, target my bottom wiping, as an issue for removal.

Later, Issy opened her cards and presents, put her new slippers on, blew her candles out, and attacked the cake.

An usual eighteenth,

But not for Issy, she knows she’s loved.

It has been the year from hell, as can be witnessed from this blog.

Issy comes into the living room later, sitting next to me, laughing.

‘Tickle’,she demands, and pulls up her blouse.

I tickle her back.

Love, really can, as Blake wrote,

‘build a Heaven in Hell’s despair’.


Mental Health, Big Pharma, Big Profits, Big Danger.


As it is was revealed in February 2013, NHS bosses allowed the world’s biggest drugs firm’s’ lobbying company, to draft a report shaping our future health policy, we must consider the very real danger of the abuse of our mental health for profit.

Mental consumers are sought everywhere- schools, prisons, hospitals, police stations, prisons, even the homeless sleeping rough are hounded.

By 2016 Cameron announces on national news 1 in 10 children  suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder.

And all media promote the outing of ‘mental health’ issues.

And it is encouraged to discuss your mental issues, which then become a disability and enable the state to control the citizen and make him a pharma cash cow.

In 2011 FOI notices revealed hundreds of instances of hospitality, worth several hundred thousand pounds from drug giants.

Of conferences for NHS staff in Sydney, Mauritius, Las Vegas.

We are fed by the media, that the recently created, and now accepted without question phenomena of ‘self harm’, has seen a 45% increase in boys, all ripe for medication.

Mere social conduct disorders are now classed as mental disorders to treat with a different expensive drug.

In America half of foster children are on prescribed drugs.

One in 15 Americans at 18 now are labelled with a mental disorder.

See Robert Whitaker’s ‘Anatomy of an Epidemic’ and how the label of a disorder rather than helping has destroyed lives.

A and E departments received 30 million for mental health,  funding is in place, for mental health referrals,  in police stations, and schools.

We have an over supply of NHS mental health ‘professionals’ and  375 curtesy of America, mental disorders.

Medicalisation of social/ behavioural problems is a huge ever growing market for the Pharma Industry.

‘Self-harm’ is usefully medicated by expensive anti-psychotic drugs…

The Mirror revealed, 62 Tory MPs have links with Private Health.

Disorders make profit and control our autonomy, and society.

In 2005, the FDA issued an extraordinary “Public Health Advisory” cautioned against the risks, associated with, the whole new generation of antidepressants, including, Prozac, and its knock offs, Zoloft, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa, and Lexapro, as well as Wellbutrin, Effexor, Serzone, and Remeron.

The warning followed a public hearing, in which, dozens of family members and victims testified of increased violence, and suicide after their use.

Despite this, and research studies showing anti-depressants were only slightly more effective, than a placebo.

Which is why Prozac is not licensed in Germany and does not satisfy NICE effectiveness guidelines.

This less that clinically required beneficial effect could in any event be due to research and conferences, being funded by the drug companies, research methods design to show advantages, and positive effects being published more than negative ones.

Yet despite this in 2007, there were 34 million prescriptions for anti-depressants and more than 40 million people are estimated to have taken Prozac since 1988.

The latest danger of anti depressant and hidden side effects, reported in the Guardian, on 17 th September 2015

‘Experts’ know little of how our brains work and even less as to how drugs affect this working and our physical health, particularly, in the long term.

And therefore can know little about how antidepressants work.

The huge flaw is that  no test, can measure the amount of serotonin in a living brain.

So ‘experts’ do not know what is a low, or normal level of serotonin in a normal brain and are working blind with adjustments by medication.
And there is little evidence, that depression is caused by a serotonin shortage per se and many studies contradict this theory of depression but are hidden .

And in today’s desperate times, it is more likely not pathological, but a normal reaction to uncertainty, debt and stressful abusive employment and education, and  our survival of the fittest society .

Children and adult mental health services and other NHS mental health services consist of  diagnosis and then usually straight onto medication.

But the effectiveness is not known, and is not monitored, and there are no scientific controls so the adequacy of services and drugs which cost billions cannot be judged.

So we have a multibillion pound industry, which by funding research, media and government, can create an ever increasing market, voluntary, and enforced, under the threat of care orders, if under 16, and, then mental capacity act orders if over.

Already half our population has been put on prescribed drugs.

1 in 15 Americans, reach adulthood with a mental disorder.

Do we really want to follow ?

The Mental Capacity Act 05 allows the state, to enforce medication, on effectively anyone, the experts, deem ‘incapable, of making a decision in respect to their medication.

And the Act, has a frighteningly vague, all expansive definition of ‘incapacity’, which systemically, is made, impossible to oppose.

Worse still ,The Medicines for Human Use (Clinical Trials) Regulations 2004, which regulates the conduct of clinical trials on medicinal products, allows a legal representative, (a person not connected with the conduct of the trial), to consent to the participation of ‘incapable’ adults, in medical research, currently, very little is known as to how these representatives make their decisions.

So it appears, those deemed ‘incapable’ under the MCA and that is potential millions can be used as guinea pigs by profit hungry drug companies.

Most alarming is the fact there is no central check, or control on  prescription drugs.

GPs are politicised and commercialised. They do not have to comply with conditions of drug licences and often prescribe off- label.

We as a nation are now hooked on antidepressants, statins, and, even painkillers

Mental health, is the perfect business model, for present, and future profit particularly as it is being increasingly enforced by  the MCA,and, supported by academics, NHS and media.

All financed and controlled by government.

LA Complaints Service Manager Meeting -Is the End Nigh ?

We lodged a formal complaint on the LA’s website in June.

Had two meetings, with our social worker, and, her boss.

The conclusion of which was a letter whitewashing our complaints.

I replied at length, and, asked for a stage 2 referral to the ‘independent’ investigator.

But, did not get to stage 2

Instead, in September, I received a letter from the LA  services manager,

‘I would like to take the opportunity to meet with you to discuss your complaint and to try and resolve any issues that you have’.

Two weeks ago, she arrived by black, soft- topped sports car, Porsche?, black be suited, in my kitchen.

We had managed to get Issy up, and almost in the bath, but the lady’s early arrival, spooked her, and, she retreated, naked, into her bedroom.

The lady began the meeting, by going through the complaints process,

despite my use of it, and, its presence on the internet.

And said, she had come,

to talk to some of our issues that we were still left with.’

We had been left, with all ‘ our issues’.

Physical, emotional abuse and neglect of Issy in her NAS School.

No support for the first 3 months on her returning home.

And then, no respite, no school, inadequate, spying support.

An ‘independent’ living ‘education’ package, that had traumatised Issy,

by telling her, she could not live with Mummy  and Daddy,

And resulted in her reignited PTSD, and refusal to leave the house.

My fabricated illnesses notified to GP by social services.

Incorrect, sexed up core assessments, portraying us, as abusive, neglectful, inadequate parents.

And, our support/education was now non-existent.

No support for over two months, and, an education package,6 months in the making,

Which had commenced two weeks ago, but only consisted of a PR, 2 days a week, who had hardly appeared.

The be suited lady announced, she was in our kitchen to see;

What can we do to reach a resolution?

What do you want as a good outcome from the complaints process?’ ‘What can I do to resolve your complaint ‘

‘What can we do as a service to make sure we can support you?’

Anything, as we had no support.

Surely, after nearly 2 years of meetings, core assessments, she should know what we want, and, what her services should have done, and, were now not doing ?

These, were thoughts only, as her out-pouring, was merely an explanation, of her function.

It was the usual, I speak, you speak, prescribed, communication.

But finally, the shocker,

‘I don’t know the detail. I have chosen not to look at the record’.

I felt, at this point, the need to point out, that this was a big mistake, if she, were here to investigate our complaints.

So dared to ask, Why  she had ‘chosen not to look at the record.

I wanted to come with an open agenda’.

I’ve come to listen to you as a couple, to be clear as to the outcome you want’.

After letters forms and two meetings she still did not know?

I have come to have a dialogue, with you before I can respond’.

She continued,

But a dialogue, is a two way process.

And, she had, ‘chosen not to look at the record’.

So how could her visit clarify, and resolve?

No, it was the usual.

We do all the talking. All is de novo.

All is futile.

We were expected to go through our complaints, together, with the latest ones.

All already gone through ad nauseam, with her subordinates, orally, and, in writing.

Our time, as always, wasted to justify ‘service’, and salaries.

Exasperated, we filled her in on our previous, and, only agency support,

but, trained to be ever positive, she interrupted with,
so the previous agency support worked well’.

Even our social worker, admitted, it was not ‘the most appropriate’, after Issy refused to go out.

This lady did not appear to know, it had broken down, or why,

or, even, that Issy no longer left the house with anyone.

But as per her two subordinates, in their complaints meetings,

She did know enough to suggest, ‘someone’, ‘do some work’ with Issy, to try to reassure her, she would return home, if she went out.

And, as we had already told her subordinates, obviously, this had been done by ourselves, and, several, different workers.

The team leader, in her complaints meeting, had remained silent, on the qualifications of this ‘someone’.

But our social worker had let slip, it was a psychologist.

Could this be the last piece of documentation, they needed for a deprivation of liberty order, to remove Issy from home?

When we pointed out, Issy had been traumatised, by the push into independent living.

She said,

‘So, you as parents, are now saying, at this moment in time, you don’t want her in independent living’.

It appeared, even ours, and Issy’s basic wishes, were unknown to her.

Or more likely, irrelevant.

What can I do in terms of the complaint investigation?

Continued, her rhetorical plea.

Investigate, one would assume.

After an hour of this, Issy emerged from her bedroom, opposite the kitchen, naked.

She spotted my coffee, through the kitchen glass door, came in, drank it, and retreated.

The lady asked,

Does Issy struggle to wear her clothes?’.

More exasperation.

‘No. She was just going into her bath when you arrived.’

As with the trainee social worker, a little knowledge of ‘autism’, did not go a long way.

She assumed autistics, and therefore Issy, had problems keeping their clothes on.

I explained, as I had done, on countless occasions, her bath time routine, and that she dressed herself afterwards.

But knew this was futile.

She had spotted, what she was looking for, an intervention issue.

Issy didn’t keep her clothes on, and we allowed it.

Just as her scratches, had been self-harm, or abuse, to the education funding lady.

The lady then left, saying she would respond in writing.

She did a week later, but not about our complaints, that letter, has yet, to arrive.

‘I do feel I need to raise again the issues that led to me ending our meeting earlier than anticipated, (it hadn’t) namely the fact that Isabel did come into the kitchen naked and your response to me when I asked the question if this was normal behaviour for Isabel (it wasn’t, she was getting in the bath), and if she struggled to remain clothed. I asked this question as I am aware of many young people with autism do have difficulty in wearing certain items of clothing. My question was not intended to be a criticism of your parenting, However it did concern me that neither parent attempted to encourage Isabel to dress, given there was a complete stranger in the home who had not met Isabel before and the potential impact of this upon her dignity’.

So, the LA Services Manager, charged with investigating our formal complaints, that social services, were deliberately creating evidence of abusive, and, inadequate parenting.

Had decided, our not encouraging, our autistic, upset daughter to dress, before she got into her bath, was evidence of emotional abuse, and, a protection issue.

And, the much pushed ‘work to be done on Issy’, to supposedly, get her out, was now to be enforced;

‘ I believe we need an urgent assessment of Isabel’s mental health to assist the LA in determining the best support package for Isabel and I have requested the Social Workers involved with Isabel discuss this in more detail with you so we can work together to achieve this.’

Confirming my suspicions, that the LA, were determined to assess Issy’s ‘capacity’,  which as, with our adult services assessment, and her NHS funding, was to be obtained by stealth, on a different pretext.

As, what other purpose could this ‘assessment’ serve?

Our social worker, could not find a care agency willing to support us.

So what ‘care package’, could this assessment lead to?

Only independent living, or, a mental hospital, or ATU.

A psychologist, and a psychiatrists assessments in 2012, when Issy was 7 stone, poo impacted, with two rotten teeth in her NAS school, had merely resulted in antidepressants, which made her worse.

And what would happen, if we did not allow such an ‘assessment’?

The letter continued;

’ Given the difficulties of our meeting (we were concerned that she knew nothing about our complaints, or are present lack of support, and had a naked daughter about to bathe).I would want to re-iterate that the LA are committed to working in partnership with parents and carers and our current intervention with your family is to provide appropriate support to maintain Isabel in your care, unfortunately this does not to be your beliefs are around our intervention. I would want to stress that the LA would only consider looking at a placement for a young person away from their family home if there is concern for that young person’s welfare and if parental engagement cannot be maintained.’

Plenty of choice there then….

This was a simple process, which would be completed.

Even if, it was, by the person charged with investigating our complaints.

Poor Issy, poor us.

Another photo, on yet another petition, never to laugh, or be free again, a tortured, captive cash, and pharma cow, with tortured, powerless parents.

Doomed to living hells for life.

But, what profit she would make, at least £3,500 per week, without the pharma, and therapy kickbacks.

And no one cares.

There’s a thought for Christmas……

Meeting with ‘personalised’ education provider.

commercial-awareness-meme2On 24th November, the Monday after the emails in ‘The Emperors Clothes’ post, the Measured Lady rang at 5 pm, informing my husband, she would visit at 6pm.

She gave no reason.

I was not amused.

We had had her nice, affable PA in earlier that afternoon.

But, as usual, she had not mentioned why she hadn’t turn up last Tuesday or notified us.

By now, even I had been angry enough to explode to her on arrival,

We haven’t the time for commercially aware people’,

But she ignored the comment.

And, as it was excruciatingly embarrassing, and futile even trying to find out why she had hardly shown up since commencing her ‘support’ as workers can’t discuss their working practices with us ‘clients’.

It  was ignored over a coffee and a chat.

Issy remained in bed.

The PA sat on her bedroom floor.

My stress levels were  high, as the social services disability manager had recently visited.

And Issy was distressed, just dressed, and a Measured Lady stranger, in the kitchen, would not help.

Could the Measured lady not have asked if it were convenient,

or, given the courtesy of  the reason for her visit?

My husband was duly admonished.

Could he ring back, and say no?

No, we didn’t have her number.

An hour of trepidation followed.

I bite my lip, calmed down, and accepted the inevitable.

The Measured lady arrived with  the usual,

How are things going?

I bit my lip again,

’ Not too bad’.


She sat down.

More silence.

Would she like a coffee’,

She preferred tea’.


I stared at the kettle interminably not boiling, determined not to be the first to speak,

But, the Measured lady remained motionless, expressionless and silent in the chair.

I wished the kettle weren’t so full
I cracked, as the effrontery of her continued silence was too much to bear.

I blurted out, a rather impolite,

‘so X, why are you here?’’

‘Oh, I just wanted to see how things were going.’

The effrontery was getting worse.

The ability of overseers, not to engage but merely enrage never ceases to amaze.

Surely, you ought, and must know, how things are going? Yours PA has hardly been here

I find confrontation and our society’s beloved ‘assertion’, inherently rude and stressful but this ‘weakness’ is played on.

And I have found if you do adopt their inquisitorial role and they deign to answer,

Ignorance is feigned and/ or the truth spun.

I was not to be disappointed.

Without any detail she stated simply,

‘her PA had reported, that I had told her, there was no point in her turning up’.

So, it was all my fault.

Her silence continued.

She looked blank, when I mentioned my emails to the LA education coordinator, complaining about her service.

I was now so flabbergasted, I found it difficult/too futile to formulate sentences.

So my husband spoke,

Finola didn’t tell her not to come, only to try to be as late as possible, as Issy was not getting up. On three of her six designated days, she didn’t even turn up’.

Unfazzed, he was shot him down with a,

You, weren’t there at the time’

Omitting her telephone conversation with me, at the end of the PA’s first week, when I had relayed exactly, when she had been and what had been said.

Her plan had also stated, she sought to recruit people,

’who can manage a family with so much anxiety and dissatisfaction regarding support and communication from authorities’.

She then did, what managers are trained to do, when cornered;

Become indignant, and, threatened to withdraw, with a

’If you would rather not have our support’.

The previous education package’s modus operandi, had been the same, with a,

‘Do you still want us to continue to support Issy’.

I stated the obvious, that that this was not the issue.

In retrospect, I wish I’d told her where to go.

Her silence resumed.

The Measured lady sat motionless.

Another impasse.

How long would this silence last?

Again I was forced to break it, with a,

I don’t like these long silences’.

She replied,

’Oh, I rather like silence. I feel comfortable with it’.

I had met a brick wall, a well  trained ‘manager’.

Issy could be heard from her bedroom, repeating her NAS care workers abuse, so I left the kitchen to try to break her out of it.

Angry at the measured lady’s failure, to react to Issy  repeating abuse and groaning in the background,

or, even discuss, her present distress, I dared to accuse her of not caring.

Big mistake.

As I  received an impassioned silique;

when she had first been introduced to us, had she not cared about Issy, she would not have got involved’.

There was no point in mentioning the pot of money, she held on our behalf, just as there was no point in her silique.

By then, she had been nearly 25 minutes in the kitchen, and had given no indication of how much longer she would stay.

This forced more assertion with a,

I’m afraid I will have to get on with the supper now. It might be best if we didn’t have meetings like this, we can do most things by email’.

Although, I was too timid to look at her, and grabbed a frying pan and pancetta for support.

I felt this did not go down well.

And I received an indignant,

If you do not want us to meet up, then that is up to you’.

As, I’m sure she knew.

What I did not want, were regular unnecessary meetings, to justify my pot of money that were extremely stressful, disturbed Issy and, wasted my time.

But knew, my pathetic attempt at assertion, was naughty, and would probably be used as ‘non-engagement’.

She put her coat on and I saw her out, and of course thanked her for coming.

The PA turned up the next day, being her designated Tuesday, well before 10 and left at 1 pm

The first time ever.

I mentioned the meeting the evening before, and that I did not like the way her boss did ‘business’ but knew she could not comment.

The measured lady sent an email, stating her PA, and a lady from The Lodge, would be visiting on Monday from 10-1, 10-3, and the PA on Tuesday 10-1, and the other lady on Friday.

Eventually after 5 months she was attempting to do, what she was supposed to, for our pot of money.

I post this on the Friday, the other worker, Lodge Lady apparently, studying an MA in autism arrived just after 11 am, but Issy was up all night, demanding crackers and cheese,at regular intervals, so is now asleep.

It is 10 weeks since the agency withdrew social support and we are still without any.

In just under two years, our only respite has been the 3 days blogged and 2 evenings out..

Yet Issy has cost the public purse during that time, some £200,000.

This is not about cutting budgets but extortion and making money out of effectively doing nothing.

This is about creating private profit, from meetings, ticking boxes, and cheap labour.

This is about commercial awareness, here extortionate.